Negative Self Talk

“Evict the critical tenant sitting inside your head.”

–Alan Gettis (The Happiness Solution)


“To be clear…there is a big difference between pursuing health and verbally bashing yourself.  Fat talk serves no purpose even when we have weight to lose.  Action and positive affirmation are critical when it comes to lasting life improvements.”

–Jillian Michaels



Wow!  You look fat today!  How much weight have you gained?  Lord, look at that cellulite!  Are you waving or is that just your upper arms?  Boy, you really sound stupid today!

Would you be friends with someone who greeted you like that?  I certainly hope not, yet a vast majority of us greet ourselves like that on a daily basis.  What do you think when you wander into the bathroom and look in the mirror first thing in the morning?  It’s no wonder we have such issues with weight and self-esteem.

So, how do you change this pattern of self-depreciation?  Awareness!!  Becoming aware of your negative self talk will take you a long way in changing this destructive habit.  Once you become aware of your negative self talk, then you can begin the process of changing those negative thoughts.

One of the most powerful things you can do is to stand in front of that mirror in the morning (and in the evening) and say what you LOVE about yourself out loud.  Start where it is comfortable for you, such as “I love that I am wonderful and loyal friend.”  “I love that I am good at…”  As you become more comfortable you can begin to embrace your “flaws.”  You cannot “hate” your weight away and you cannot “shame” yourself into a healthier body or better way of thinking or acting.  You may have short-term results from this self-depreciating behavior, but if you don’t fix the underlying issues, long-term health and an ideal weight will not be maintained.

Love where you are at and the rest can follow.  Train yourself to speak lovingly to yourself and see the inner transformation start reflecting on the outside as well.  If you wouldn’t treat your friends the way you are treating yourself, it is time for a change!

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What’s Your Story?

“Learn from your story, but don’t live in it.”

-Steve Maraboli

We, as a society, define ourselves by our jobs, diseases, stresses.
How often do you have conversations where you seem to just compare who
has it worse?  These stories create baggage that we carry around and
inhibit us living in the present moment and moving toward what we
want. They keep us in a holding pattern, circling the same issues
again and again.

I once worked with a guy who literally introduced himself “Hi, I’m
…, I’m on Atkins.” He had started many diets and “failed” and
defined himself as a dieter. Needless to say, he is still “dieting”
and without a change in story, will always be dieting. He will
literally diet himself to death.

I love the people who always say how busy they are. Aren’t they the
most frazzled people? They believe they don’t have time to do
everything that needs to be done, but the funny thing is that most of
these people find the time to do everything EXCEPT take care of
themselves. No wonder they feel so rushed, they are shortening their
lives! They won’t be able to do anything when their body says “enough”
and gives them a disease to get some rest and recovery. You cannot be
there for anyone if you don’t take care of yourself FIRST. Not your
kids, spouse, family, job. It’s all about priorities. It is amazing
how much more time you will have if you schedule yourself first. Time
to exercise, meditate, fix healthy meals. When your body is in
balance, your life tends to reflect that.

Whatever stories you are toting around, make sure they serve you in a
positive way. They should empower you, not weigh you down and give you
excuses. There is no past, there is no future, there is only now and
what you choose to do in this moment. “Living” in the past keeps you
from moving forward. It’s a great place to visit, to see how far
you’ve come, but when you hold onto those feeling of pain, sadness,
anger, resentment, you are not truly living. Let go of the stories
that hold you in the past and create new ones that reflect who you
want to be.

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Following your Passion

“There will be a few times in your life when all your instincts will tell you to do something, something that defies logic, upsets your plans, and may seem crazy to others. When that happens, you do it. Listen to your instincts and ignore everything else. Ignore logic, ignore the odds, ignore the complications, and just go for it.”
~Judith McNaught, Remember When

My life is in what looks like a total upheaval at the moment. I left my good paying job with benefits that I have had for over 11 years. The pain of staying and not following my passion was finally too great and my broken body and spirit were ready to come back to life. I have been unemployed for a total of 3 days and they have been the happiest I have been in really long time. I am already seeing evidence that I can have the life of my dreams. One that makes me wake up happy and excited to start the day instead of living in dread and just trying to get through the week.

I do not recommend people up and leave jobs; however, it is imperative that everyone does something EVERY day that feeds their soul and their passion. There are no acceptable excuses. If it is important to you, you WILL find the time and energy. Little steps, that is all it takes. Just little baby steps every day and suddenly, the universe will rise up and greet you with everything you ever dreamed of and more.

What will you do for yourself today? A yoga class, a walk, writing in your journal? Take a step today – just one little step, and savor the feeling of moving in the direction you want your life to go! Doesn’t that feel good!



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Ditch the New Year’s Resolution!

Every year we are bombarded with advertising and other people pressuring us into making resolutions for the upcoming year.  Things we have been putting off or changing things we don’t like or are under the impression we are not supposed to like.  I always hated going back to school in January and writing resolutions as a school assignment.  By adulthood, it was so ingrained you felt like you had to “resolve” to change something over the coming year and like most people, eating better and exercising were usually top of the list.  Then about 13 years ago or so, my husband and I made a resolution to never make resolutions again.  It is the only one I have ever kept and I have to admit, it was quite freeing!

So, in a couple of days, we will all be “pressured” into resolving to better ourselves in some way in the coming year.  I have to admit, in previous years I have felt a little tempted to fall back into the “norm” and resolve to be “different” than I am now.  Before you “vow” to be a better person and lose weight or quit smoking or exercise more, ask yourself, “what is wrong with who I am now?”  The answer is nothing!  You are exactly who you are supposed to be in this moment.  God does not make mistakes.

I am not saying that you do not need to work towards changing habits that you do not like, but deciding that on this one day, you are going to change, is a little bigger bite than most people can chew.  New Year’s day does not make you a different person than you were on New Year’s eve.  I love moving into a new year, and I agree that there is a certain “freshness” about it, like anything is possible (and it is!).

How about for this year, if you must, resolve to be a little kinder to yourself.  To take baby-steps toward being the person you know you already are.  That if you are trying to eat better and exercise more, it is okay if you “mess up,” because in the very next moment you have the opportunity to do better.  Begin your days with thanks for what you do have and for what you have already accomplished.  Remember to love yourself as you are and that you are exactly where you need to be to get where you are going.

Have a wonderful New Year and remember to cut yourself a little slack!

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