Fear or Love?

Fear

It’s what holds all of us back

Fear of failure

Fear of success

Fear of not having enough….

Time, money, love

Fear of wishing for the wrong thing

Fear of your dreams coming true

Fear that they won’t

Fear that you will change

Fear that you will stay the same

But what is there beyond fear

In its absence….

 

Love.

The opposite of fear is not safety

It is love

Love is faith

Love is knowing you will always have what you need

Love is accepting that you won’t always get what you want

Love is always there

Sitting beneath the surface

Waiting for you to notice it

Never leaving you

Never faltering

Just

Always

There.

 

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Clouds

Clouds everywhere

Gray skies

A menacing dark cloud hovering

Promising a deluge

Promising a cleansing

Promising to wash away what no longer serves

Blue skies waiting above the clouds

Never wavering, always there

When the whole world is bathed in gray

The sun and sky wait patiently, brilliantly

The clouds will eventually part, spent of their tears

And the sun that never left will be seen in all its glory once again.

It is so easy when things look bad to only see the darkness, the gray, the lack of light. To find it hard to imagine that the blue sky is just above the clouds on gray and rainy days. Anyone who has flown on a rainy day has seen it though. They’ve risen above the clouds into the bright waiting sky. That is what we need to remember when things seem dark and helpless. The clouds will eventually part. The rain will end. The wind will calm. No storm last forever, but without the rain, we would never see the rainbow.   

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Meditation & Guns?!?!

Last week I went to the shooting range with my husband and thought how odd it must seem that this is what I would do just mere hours after taking my weekly meditation class. I mean, meditation means peace and guns are violence, right? I am far from a violent person and cannot even bring myself to watch boxing or wrestling. As an empath, I am extremely sensitive and avoid violence and confrontation at all costs. So why have I taken up shooting as a hobby? At first, I marveled at how well rounded I am; how varied my interests are. It got me really thinking though and shortly after I came home, I decided to write whatever came to me about why I not only participate in these wildly diverse activities, but even chose to do them on the same day, hours apart. I would like to note that I have no interest in hunting at this time, nor do I ever anticipate using my gun anywhere other than the range. And every time I go, I am terrified, but I keep going back.  I hope you enjoy what I learned and that you can look at the activities in your life and see if they offer insight into what you are looking for or what you need to work on……

 

From the meditation pillow to the gun range and everything in between

Like what you like and make no excuses

Peace is my goal

Yet can’t peace been found in shooting a piece

The meditation pillow is my comfort zone

The gun range is not….It’s where I grow and face my fears

It’s where I take what I learn in yoga and apply to life

Prepare, set aim, breathe, pull the trigger and then do it all over again.

Who says they are different? Mindfulness can be found anywhere.

I do not shoot to harm or for violence. I shoot to learn peace within myself during chaos.

I am not good at it yet, but I will be.

When I can take my fear, breathe through it and release the bullet into the void, I will realize true peace.

To be able to sit in fear, to relax into it…..That is the goal.

I learn a lot on my meditation pillow, but the gun range is where I grow.

 

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Numbing Out

Computer

TV

Phone

Did I check Facebook recently?

It’s been 30 min

Is anything else posted?

I could use a drink or 2 or 3

Why don’t I have any percocets left

Maybe I should take up cigarettes

No – I don’t like going outside constantly.

Reading – I could read

I really should be cleaning or cooking or running errands or writing or looking for a job….

But – let me just send this text

Check this e-mail

Browse through Twitter

Have I been on LinkedIn recently? Who uses that anyway?

Watch this show and the one after and the one after

Crap – the day is done. Too late for cleaning, for job hunting, for errands

I can write tomorrow

I can pay the bill tomorrow

It all can wait until tomorrow

But can it?

How many tomorrows can it wait?

While I numb out on social media and food and TV….

 

What are we running away from?

We all do it in some form or another.

Shopping, drinking, smoking, drugs, food, TV, social media…..

What are we trying not to feel?

What are we afraid of trying that we are putting off?

Why is the unknown scarier than enduring the misery in your life now?

We all have different reasons and different ways of numbing out.

Some people keep busy to numb out….Too busy, sorry too busy to really live my life!!

They are all addictions used to keep us from moving forward, from entering into the unknown.

To keep change from happening – like we can really stop change.

And so we get sick and things go wrong

And WHY DOES THIS ALL HAPPEN TO ME!!!!

Because you are resisting

Because you are numbing

Because change is inevitable….

 

So become aware of where and how you numb

And just watch it

Look at it

Listen to it

Like an observer

And then release it – sometimes all at once but usually slowly

Little by little

Do the thing you fear

Or a step towards it

One little baby step

And another…and another

And suddenly, your WHOLE life is changed!

And it’s awesome!

But then you start to numb again

Because a new change is coming

And once again you are afraid, but it’s okay

You know how to do this now

And this time, it will come faster and with less resistance.

 

This is life

Live it… Don’t just exist in it.

 

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Karma

Karma

 

Grudge

 

I use to love the quote “Karma’s only a bitch if you are.” I’m not so sure anymore. The notion of karma is getting distorted and it seems that most people believe that some horrible future event will happen to someone as part of their karma for their past “horrible” actions. Well, I do agree that the seeds you plant today may impact what happens to you in the future, but that isn’t karma. That’s just law of attraction, which at any point in time you can redirect, by planting different seeds and nurturing the new ones while letting the old wither and die. What you feed grows, so what are you feeding?

We don’t ever know what is truly going on with another person. Karma hits you the instant you do something “good” or “bad.”  It is an internal reaction to how you act in the external world. Waiting for someone to “get theirs” is holding on to anger or “injustice” which manifests in your body, not the person you believe needs to be punished. Why are we so bent on holding this hatred when it has no effect on the other person, only ourselves? You are basically drinking poison and expecting someone else to get sick. So maybe karma is a bitch if you are. If you are “bitching” about how you hope you are there to see someone’s karma bite them in the ass, you are inviting more chaos into your life. What we focus on, we get. What you look for, will most likely happen. So where is your focus? Hoping your neighbor has something bad happen to them or that your ex gets cheated on like he did to you only hurts you. You are inviting more problems with your neighbor or your ex.

Instead, it is possible for you to accept that this person acted out of pain and/or fear? Can you imagine how much pain must be in someone’s life to act out in ways that harm others? You don’t by any means need to condone the actions. It is possible to be compassionate and still not like the act. There is the capability of love in everyone, as well as a shadow side to everyone. We make a choice based on the circumstances around us and how we have learned to cope in the world. People do the best they know how to do and often it will not live up to your expectations. Don’t worry, you won’t live up to other’s expectations either. Do you think you deserve to have others wish you harm or bad luck?

Always remember, it takes two people to have an argument or disagreement. If you are confident in your position or are willing to accept responsibility for a “wrong” you have done, there is no reason to argue your point. Most times the other person doesn’t want to change their mind or see your point of view. They don’t need to. Walking away or not engaging does not make you weak. It makes you strong.  Know when your mind is closed to hearing another and wait to have a discussion until you can both hear each other. It’s okay to be angry, but is it worth being angry days, weeks, years after an event occurs? I read once that an emotion will pass through the body in 90 seconds at the most. Anything longer than that is our attachment to the emotion. We hold onto it instead of processing it. Sit with it, feel it, and then let it rise up and out.

I have found the best way to deal with anger we have held onto is to write. Write how horrible what happened was and how much you hate the other person. Write until the strong anger or hatred has passed (may have to do this several times depending on how long and how egregious you believe the offense was) and then…… Write why you are grateful that it happened. This is so important to move the energy to a different state. How did your life improve since the even happened? What did you learn about yourself? Did it help you avoid a possible worse situation? Did it teach you to set boundaries or trust your first instincts? What qualities do you like about this person?  If a long term relationship, what did they do for you in the past that you are grateful for? This process lets the emotion come up and out and then allows gratitude to enter. If you cannot get to the gratitude, you have not worked through your anger yet and gotten to a place of letting go. This is not about ignoring your emotions and stuffing them down. It’s about facing them in the moment and not carrying them to the next. Wishing someone ill only causes pain in ourselves. Let it go. Dr. Wayne Dyer asks “would you rather be right or be kind?” The answer should be kind. If you are right, you don’t need to fight for your position with someone who isn’t ready to hear it.

So please stop with the “can’t wait for karma to get them!” I just want to see everyone deal with their own stuff and get to a place of peace within themselves that isn’t tied up with what happens outside of them. We have a choice in how we react every single moment and yes we will react “badly” sometimes, but then you have a choice to forgive and let go. Forgiveness doesn’t condone. Forgiveness is just letting go of believing the past should be different. Stop living in the past and start living in the only moment that matters, right now.

Sending love and compassion to all who are reading this. I do not judge you, I only wish you peace and happiness in your life.  

 

Contact me for a FREE Health Consultation!  Dawn@Dawnofwellness.com

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WHEN ROLE MODELS “FAIL” US

I have experienced my share of disappointment when someone you have looked to as a mentor is no longer someone to look up to. Recently I have seen people dealing with their role models “fall from grace” and I felt the need to address this.

I remember many co-workers I had looked up to and then after working side by side with them started to wonder why I had ever looked at them as a mentor. It was hard for me at first and then it turned to a feeling of superiority over them.  As time has worn on I have finally grasped the lessons that they were here to give me.

Nobody (and I mean NOBODY) is perfect. We are all just doing the best that we know how in every moment.  However you may feel that you have been slighted is more than likely through no malice from the person you looked up to.  Just because someone is no longer living up to your expectations, doesn’t mean they weren’t a good role model for you before. It is important to remember that the stronger your expectations, the higher likelihood of being disappointed. The source of ALL disappointment is your expectation of how something should transpire.

When we have people that we look up to for whatever reason, be grateful in that moment that they are showing you what you want in life, whether it’s how to succeed in a career, relationships or just how they live their life in general. What draws you is the yearning for something they have obtained or the way that person lives. It is great that you have someone to show you what you didn’t know was possible prior. In this same thinking, once you realize the potential, this person may no longer need to be a mentor for you.

When you get close to your mentor, it is easy to notice their lives are not perfect and we begin to judge. The judgment believe it or not comes out of subconscious fear. This person I looked up to doesn’t have it all together, how will I?

We never fully know anyone. We don’t know their past or struggles. We know the stories they may tell us, but not the full picture. People can go through similar things and have completely different attitudes. I used to judge the people that turned destructive knowing that a different choice would give them different results. But their journey is not mine, nor is it yours. You didn’t live their life.


So when someone you look up to “falls” in your eyes, remember they are just human. Perfect in their imperfections. And be doubly grateful because not only did they show you what you wanted, they showed you what you don’t want. For this reason, they should be respected and shown compassion, because when someone who looks up to you realizes you aren’t perfect, that is what you would want from them.  

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