Numbing Out

Computer

TV

Phone

Did I check Facebook recently?

It’s been 30 min

Is anything else posted?

I could use a drink or 2 or 3

Why don’t I have any percocets left

Maybe I should take up cigarettes

No – I don’t like going outside constantly.

Reading – I could read

I really should be cleaning or cooking or running errands or writing or looking for a job….

But – let me just send this text

Check this e-mail

Browse through Twitter

Have I been on LinkedIn recently? Who uses that anyway?

Watch this show and the one after and the one after

Crap – the day is done. Too late for cleaning, for job hunting, for errands

I can write tomorrow

I can pay the bill tomorrow

It all can wait until tomorrow

But can it?

How many tomorrows can it wait?

While I numb out on social media and food and TV….

 

What are we running away from?

We all do it in some form or another.

Shopping, drinking, smoking, drugs, food, TV, social media…..

What are we trying not to feel?

What are we afraid of trying that we are putting off?

Why is the unknown scarier than enduring the misery in your life now?

We all have different reasons and different ways of numbing out.

Some people keep busy to numb out….Too busy, sorry too busy to really live my life!!

They are all addictions used to keep us from moving forward, from entering into the unknown.

To keep change from happening – like we can really stop change.

And so we get sick and things go wrong

And WHY DOES THIS ALL HAPPEN TO ME!!!!

Because you are resisting

Because you are numbing

Because change is inevitable….

 

So become aware of where and how you numb

And just watch it

Look at it

Listen to it

Like an observer

And then release it – sometimes all at once but usually slowly

Little by little

Do the thing you fear

Or a step towards it

One little baby step

And another…and another

And suddenly, your WHOLE life is changed!

And it’s awesome!

But then you start to numb again

Because a new change is coming

And once again you are afraid, but it’s okay

You know how to do this now

And this time, it will come faster and with less resistance.

 

This is life

Live it… Don’t just exist in it.

 

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Unconditionally

Unconditionally is how we wish to be loved

To be accepted for who we truly are

Yet we don’t even accept ourselves.

“Yes I do!” you think to yourself

Then why do you conform and try to fit in?

Why do you worry about what others think?

Or get embarrassed when we stand out too much?

We speak to ourselves so harshly that we wouldn’t even be friends with ourselves.

And then we wonder, why we aren’t loved unconditionally.

Do you love others unconditionally?

“Of course I do!” you say.

Yet we are always talking about how others should change.

Not just friends, acquaintances, strangers – but those closest to us.

Brothers, sisters, parents, spouses, children…….

We blame them for our issues. They make us mad and sad and glad.

But do they?

No – we decide if we are mad or sad or glad. It’s all in our reaction.

It’s all in the story we tell ourselves (and others) about the circumstance.

“But it’s true!” you implore.

Yes – it’s true to you. But every story can be told so many different ways.

Ways that make us the victim or avoid blame.

Or ways that empower us and let us accept responsibility.

And hardest of all – in ways that show compassion to those who have “wronged us.”

Unconditional means TOTAL acceptance.

Unconditional means NO judgment.

Unconditional allows for growth and improvement of circumstances

But it does not allow for criticism of how things are.

We all deserve to be loved unconditionally, yet we think others are unworthy.

When we realize that ALL are worthy

When we realize that WE are worthy

Maybe, just maybe we will receive it.

We don’t need it from others though. We need it from no one but ourselves.

To love oneself unconditionally is the ultimate goal.

And when it is recognized, you will realize it was with you all the time.

And you will be loved, unconditionally.

 

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Negative Self Talk

“Evict the critical tenant sitting inside your head.”

–Alan Gettis (The Happiness Solution)

 

“To be clear…there is a big difference between pursuing health and verbally bashing yourself.  Fat talk serves no purpose even when we have weight to lose.  Action and positive affirmation are critical when it comes to lasting life improvements.”

–Jillian Michaels

 

 

Wow!  You look fat today!  How much weight have you gained?  Lord, look at that cellulite!  Are you waving or is that just your upper arms?  Boy, you really sound stupid today!

Would you be friends with someone who greeted you like that?  I certainly hope not, yet a vast majority of us greet ourselves like that on a daily basis.  What do you think when you wander into the bathroom and look in the mirror first thing in the morning?  It’s no wonder we have such issues with weight and self-esteem.

So, how do you change this pattern of self-depreciation?  Awareness!!  Becoming aware of your negative self talk will take you a long way in changing this destructive habit.  Once you become aware of your negative self talk, then you can begin the process of changing those negative thoughts.

One of the most powerful things you can do is to stand in front of that mirror in the morning (and in the evening) and say what you LOVE about yourself out loud.  Start where it is comfortable for you, such as “I love that I am wonderful and loyal friend.”  “I love that I am good at…”  As you become more comfortable you can begin to embrace your “flaws.”  You cannot “hate” your weight away and you cannot “shame” yourself into a healthier body or better way of thinking or acting.  You may have short-term results from this self-depreciating behavior, but if you don’t fix the underlying issues, long-term health and an ideal weight will not be maintained.

Love where you are at and the rest can follow.  Train yourself to speak lovingly to yourself and see the inner transformation start reflecting on the outside as well.  If you wouldn’t treat your friends the way you are treating yourself, it is time for a change!

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